Why I (Still) Hate My Cell Phone

Reason Number 7:  How many screens must I have to break?  How many of you know someone who’s walking around with a cracked screen right now?  Recently, at the Las Vegas Consumer Electronics show, I saw a demonstration by UICO of their duraTouch® hardened screen technology.  An unbelievably tough, waterproof interface that responded well even with water running over it.  It also worked great while wearing both surgical and ski gloves.  Now, maybe we can’t get there just yet, but how about at least making it easier and more cost-acceptable to replace a broken screen.  Improvements like this would definitely be a good thing in my view of these devices. Samsung seems to be leading the charge with the new Galaxy S7, but shouldn't this be table stakes by now?

Reason Number 6:  Feature-stripped apps.  Another thing that makes me hate my cell phone is being told a feature that is available on the web site is not available in the mobile applet.  Second to that is being redirected to the web site to complete something that isn’t built into the applet.  Now, I understand the need to keep storage low, and that some features generally don’t make sense for a mobile application, but I think the industry could be doing a better job of determining what goes in an applet and what doesn’t.  My suggestion here is that if you can put a feature in the applet that’s on the full site, put it in.  If a substantial amount of your functionality requires a web browser, then dump the applet for a mobile-friendly web version of your site.  A half-baked applet married to a partial mobile web site just doesn’t cut it.

Reason Number 5:  Rogue updates.  A few weekends ago my phone did a 1.2 GB update of the Android operating system and most of the basic applications that came with the phone, such as e-mail, text messaging and the phone application itself.  Net result for me?  The response of my smartphone has slowed to a crawl, in some cases making the applications unusable or at least very frustrating when I’m in a hurry because I need to place a call or access information.  Had I known the negative impact this update would have had on my phone, I would never have permitted it.  Same goes for operator updates and bloatware. And of course, there’s never an easy way back.  I’ve had similar experiences with applications upgrades, where each new version of the applet, at least for me, has a user interface that’s more confusing, more difficult to use and less friendly than the one before it.  Suggestion for the software community – give us a way to easily back out an update if we so chose, and don’t force us forward unless it’s absolutely necessary.  It frustrates us.  It makes us not like you guys.  Really.

Reason Number 4:  No, I don't want to download your app.  Invariably these days when I call up a travel, banking, store or other consumer web site, I’m immediately prompted to download their iOS or Android compatible applet for my smartphone or tablet.  In some cases I do, only to find out that they suck up considerable storage space AND run continuously in the background, further slowing down the response time of my smartphone and running up my bill (see reasons I hate my phone numbers 5 and 8 above).  How about asking me once and giving me that option of “yes, no, or not now?"  No means no, so don’t keep asking me every time I visit your web site.  OR, make a decent app that I will use so I don’t have to visit your website.  And make it compact, with low data-usage impact, and with efficient use of my limited phone memory, storage and compute resources, please!  I’d use more apps if some of them weren’t such resource hogs.

Reason Number 3:  Dropped calls...still...in 2016. Why hasn't this been solved yet? I understand that sometimes it’s just not possible to maintain a connection when moving about, particularly in a city or in a vehicle traveling at a high rate of speed.  A recent experience on the high-speed train between Barcelona and Seville was a prime example of this reason to hate my cell phone.  But how about a little help here?  I’m sure it would be possible to give us a little chirp every 15 seconds or so if the signal strength is sub-optimal and we’re in danger of losing a call.  At least I could be aware that the possibility of a drop was there and I could be sure to be cognizant of it.  And when the call does drop, how about clearly alerting us and the other party as well?  This way, one of us isn’t blathering on thinking the other person is still there.  Or be really nice, copy Skype.  Not only will it alert both parties that the call has dropped, it will get it back for you if it can, allowing you to continue the conversation relatively unscathed. It's hard to believe we're still talking about this decades after the advent of cellular phones, but it's one of the top reasons I still hate my cell phone.